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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

For Love or Money?

April 24, 2013

I hope this post finds you all well and healthy!

Disclaimer: This post includes ideas that may be deemed old-fashioned and out dated by some. Please do not take offense ;) It's just food for thought, not fuel for debate. 

Regarding career choices, my husband and I have always advised our children to decide what they love doing, then find a way to get paid for it. This way, your work doesn't seem like work, and you'll love your job. Sounds reasonable, right? Well, lately I have been wondering if this is really sound advice. Particularly for young men. After all, they are the ones who will be supporting a wife and family someday.

A trusted friend recently brought to my attention that, as of late, it appears that more and more young men are engaged in the process of "finding themselves" .. dabbling in music, art, etc., instead of developing careers that can support themselves and a family one day. Some are content to live at home for extended periods, not working, or working minimum wage jobs, while they "get their dream off the ground." 

I am not taking a stand on either side here, I am just thinking out loud, really. Back to my friend... she suggested that it may be better for a young man to choose a career that will earn him a decent income, so he can then afford to pursue his hobby on the side, instead of trying to make the hobby, the career. That also puts him in a better position to support himself and his future family. She says, it's called work for a reason; you don't have to love it, you just have to do it. 

My husband and I are now at the half century mark... when he chose his career path all those years ago, he chose something he had already been doing, and enjoyed doing,  since he was a teenager and because of his steadfastness, hard work and diligence, he has had (and continues to) a successful run. I, on the other hand, am not as... well... what's the word?... um, I'm a bit more scattered than my husband. Yeah, that's it - wink, wink. I was not able to pursue my first career choice. I wanted to be a severe storm meteorologist. As you probably can guess, that would have required a move out of state to a place where they actually have severe storms. For several reasons, that was not an option at the time (that's ok, I have the Weather Channel now). Plan B was initiated and I chose something I thought would be fun. I feel like, why would I do it if it's not fun? Which goes back to the advice in paragraph one. It was a lot of fun... and very stressful! Partially because of my personality type and partially because it was the nature of the business.  

I think my husband's theory was, "if I work hard, it will pay off and the money will come." For me it was, "I'd rather do something fun and if the money doesn't come, at least I'll still be having fun." Polar opposites, right? I never really thought about that until this very second when I wrote it! 

Through God's blessings and the support of my husband, I was able to initiate plan C - get a college degree (I did the 8-year, 4-year degree plan). I really tried to choose a career path for the money. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine spending time doing something that was the equivalent of watching paint dry. In hindsight, I know God led me into a well paying field where I could be creative, that was flexible and conducive to having a family, and where I could help people achieve their maximum potential. Oh, and it's really fun too!

Plan D, or really plan co-C, because they go together, is what I am doing right now - writing. Writing truly feeds my soul! I feel like it's what I was meant to do. It's what I can do all day long without giving a thought to eating, drinking, preparing meals (sorry family), an uncomfortable chair, a crick in the neck... whatever. Day can turn into night and, as long as it's quiet, I can continue writing. I realized I had a knack for this writing thing in College English class. I never considered being a writer, however (because the reason I was in college in the first place was to pursue plan C - hello!). Oddly enough, I started writing professionally, for the money, right out of the gate. I queried (I didn't even know that's what it was called at the time) a magazine about a sport my oldest son was involved in and, bam! I had a regular column for two years. That led to many other freelance opportunities that continue today, thank the Lord! 

I appear to have digressed a bit. The question still remains.. how should one choose a career? For love or money? It seems that my husband and I made choices from completely different frames of reference, and they both worked. However, mine may not have been possible if not for the consistent support of my super awesome and dedicated husband. Neither of us were Christians back then, so my advice now would be... prayerfully consider your choices and then do it. You have to start somewhere. That doesn't mean that's what you'll do forever, it just means, that's what you'll do for now - until God leads you down a different path.

Another wise friend told me that God already knows what our children are going to do, we just need to teach them and guide them according to His Word. 

Well this was fun!  God bless you all!

Jeanne

Be well. Live well. 

5 comments:

  1. Loved this! You ask a very good question. I think that for young men (and women!) we get bogged down with the idea that we will be stuck-forever-with whatever job we do. That is true in most cases, but there is always that option to change later on. I'm not saying that I encourage the 'I don't like it, therefor I will change' attitude, but it is something to think about when you are deciding on a career. See, I get depressed thinking that I will only be stuck with this one certain thing, whereas I should be thinking, "Hey, this is where I am at right now. Let's wait and see where the Lord leads"... That may sound totally confusing. Made sense in my head. ;) hehe!! Thanks for this great post! I totally love reading things you put on here. :)

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  2. Whoa! Heavy post! But very well put together. You seem to have a gift with words... :wink:

    I was commenting to mom the other day that there are some of us who seem to be here to put life into life, and the rest of us are here to keep it going. Maybe there are certain peoples who need to have jobs that are "fun" because that is who they are and how they live. Then there are others who can do those tedius things because, well, that is who they are. Make sense?

    I do think after a while it really comes down to how you make it. I can make picking up dog bombs fun or a really, really bad job because of attitude. Most jobs also become more enjoyable the better a person gets at it.

    Not sure what a good answer is to your question- my comment above is more observation than anything! I am not experienced enough to have an "answer"!!! But thanks for your thought and imput. :) It is always good to have something make you really think!

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  3. Lilac and Princess, thank you for your encouraging comments. It brings joy to my heart to see you and your group of friends making the most of your youth, making wise choices, loving the Lord and serving others! I love the entrepreneurial spirit that is evident in you all!! You have added life into my life!

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  4. Very thought provoking idea here and one we struggle with constantly. How can we lead our sons to be fulfilled in their adult lives and still provide for a family because we already know that they want their wives to be able to stay at home, raising and home schooling. That right there helps to direct their decisions. I think that often young people don't even consider what their life will look like or who will be encompassed in that life. The question John always heard growing up was "What do you want to do when you get out of school?" Instead, we have decided the better question might be, "What kind of man/husband/dad do you want to be for the rest of your life?" That question was posed to Joshua several years ago, and the one thing he came up with was that he wanted to be able to have his children around him as much as possible. Come to find out, he really hated that he couldn't work with John, and that was a choice that he realized he wanted to do differently. He also knew he didn't want to sit behind a desk all day long. OK. Two great things to NOT do. That at least narrows down his choices.

    He needed to find a career that he could eventually turn into his own company and something that allowed him to work with his hands. Where he'll end up......we have no idea right now, but we do feel better knowing that he is thinking ahead to what kind of LIFE he wants to have with the people he assumes will be there sharing it with him (wife, children, etc).

    Unfortunately, you're right. Too many young men are not thinking of the future or who they will share it with - they are thinking of me, me, me and what I want to do or play at doing. Very selfish, and maybe the issue isn't so much whether we do something for money or love of the job but whether we do something for selfish reasons or to create a bigger picture.

    I hope that made sense. I agree with Sarah.....it made sense in my head (with not enough sleep the past few days to really make sense of anything!!! haha)

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  5. That's a great question to ask! "What kind of husband/man/dad do you want to be?" It's "establishing a legacy" thinking. It's very hard to see our children take a "wrong" (in our eyes) path, but we can find comfort in that, They belong to God and God already knows their path... we just need to pray them down it, as WE seek God for His guidance. I love your comments - they always let me see things from a different perspective :)

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