Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Writers block or fear??

I hope this post finds you well and blessed!

I came across the following post just now and it really struck a chord with me. I wanted to share it because this year I began writing a book (finally!).

This year at the Lamplighter Guild I was in John Fornof’s script writing class.  I really enjoy writing–especially books.  What he said applied to any kind of writing, not just script writing.  He told us about how to get past writer’s block, which is a big thing for me.  He said, “The block comes from the editor, which is in your brain, trying to edit your ‘seedling’ before it is ready.”  We need to write with our heart because that is where the writer is.  Out of the heart the mouth speaks.   When we are in a close relationship with God He will use our writings to encourage, teach, and show others His great love, with creative excellence.

 I have been a freelance writer for nine years, but now I aspire to be an author. I didn't think it would be too much of a stretch since it is a non-fiction work and I already do that, but oh how wrong I was! I kept wondering why I was being pulled and distracted by so many silly things. Things that were keeping me from writing. I really wasn't any more busy than I was before I decided to write the book. I prayed often that God would give me the time to write.
In June, I spoke with a close artist friend of mine who was having difficulty taking time to paint. She realized that she wants her work to be perfect, and if it can't be perfect, then she won't paint at all. She had a fear of imperfection. I didn't think that that was what was going on with me though. After much deliberation together, it hit me. The was fear that was rearing it's ugly and destructive head with me was the fear of making myself vulnerable to rejection.  All my writing up until this point has been essentially, for someone else, with a deadline and a performance expectation. I had to do it (of course, I love any opportunity to write and it is a part of me out there on the paper), therefore, it got done. Well, a book is entirely different. It's just me...writing...creating...risking... The fear is, "what if they don't like it?" "What if nobody reads it?" As a painting is to an artist, one's written word is to a writer. So whether you are a sculptor, a business person, a mom, or a writer - When you pour yourself into something and put it out there for all to see (and critique), and the response (if there even is one) is, "eh, it's ok..." Gasp! That is a serious blow. 
I found that, the few times I worked on the book, I was second guessing myself and editing as I wrote - things I never do. I usually just write freely and then edit later. This paralysis of sorts was very new to me. Then the attacks came in my mind... "Who do you think you are writing a book?" "You don't have anything to say." "No one will read it." "You don't have any skill." etc. etc. How easily I believed those lies that were clearly from the enemy. 

Then, just this week, another dear writer friend of mine (I must say, I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many talented and wise friends), asked this poignant question, "how much time do you spend in prayer before you write?" Well, as I said earlier, I pray often for time to write and clarity of mind etc. But, as she pointed out, I was not praying for protection as I wrote so that God could work through me as I write. I never thought to pray for protection. After all, it's just puny ole me writing a little book...why would I be under attack? Well, I don't know and I don't need to know, I just need to know Him who knows it all!!

I hope this is an encouragement to anyone needing it. God gave us talents, gifts and passions to use and pursue to glorify Him and bless others. So, let us pray fervently for one another as we serve Him!

Be well. Live well. Love abundantly.

P.S. I have no idea why those silly horizontal lines are at the top of this post, nor do I remember how to get rid of them, sorry Sarah ;)  Please forgive my ineptness at this computer stuff...